Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Decisions at 9:24 PM

Hello 2k16! 

I'm finally done with STPM (HSC). Wow,time flies real fast huh? Nah,not really tho. Twas quite slow but I'm just so glad that I'm done with another phase of life. Sing hallelujah everyone~

Like any other normal students,I gotta figure out where to go next. Of course, in my case it's gonna be a degree.And that means I'll have to enroll in a university with a course that will guarantee a career spot in my future. Tbh,I'm just so scared of deciding the next step. What if I fucked up? :/

Anyway,I've gotten my upu pin *it's somekind of pin/code to apply in a university* and I have not come to a decision of what course should I go for. Geez,so much of the future thoughts. Also,I kinda need a scholarship. Ugh. Education is hella expensive. HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

I'm thinking about taking journalism tho. But there's still parts of me feeling like I should just go for TESL. Everyone around me keeps on telling me that being a teacher is a safe career path. Like,I don't have to worry much about the employment. The pay is quite good,it's fun and also it's a stable job.

While I crave for so much more than that. I want something thrilling. Something that makes me feel like I'm doing something that is worth deciding. Something more than just getting paid,or getting a job. Maybe I'm just saying this since I'm not desperate for money yet,like I don't need to pay bills,cars,or loans. You see? It scares me that what if it does not turns out well the way I wanted it to.

People always say that,we gotta do what we want & choose what we love. 

But I'm here,stuck with the what if question's. What if,what if. I'm so done with that.

I'm gonna fill in the application (upu) tomorrow,hoping that I'll dream of something that will enlighten my messed up mind tonight. Perhaps,with a better and wiser choice? 

p/s : the future freaks me out. Any advice? Meanwhile,here's a nice photo from the world of internet.


Diana M.

Monday, December 21, 2015


Hello qties! It's a good day to post something and write. Am i right? Lol. I'm collaborating with Born Pretty Store for today's post. Without further ado,let's get to it! 
So the pretty lil thangs I've gotten from their store was  the Stylish Cross Hollow Out Stripe Ring Posh Open Ring and the Glam Necklace Simple Gold Thick Chain Design. It was a tough decision choosing the items from their store since everything looks sooo cute and beautiful. *I'm a sucker for nice things yk*  
The Stylish Cross Hollow Out Stripe Ring Posh Open Ring  comes in a set of three rings with the price of only $4.18. I know,i know. It's ridiculously cheap. But still. Cheap things doesn't mean it's ugly. This one I got is really beautiful. The picture shows a bronze colour which my camera is technically lying since it's actually in gold colour. So.. yup. And oh,I like it that it comes in a set,so I don't have to bother matching it with other jewelry. Perks of being super lazy everyone. :P 
The another item I got from Born Pretty Store is this Glam Necklace Simple Gold Thick Chain Design with the price of $2.99. I was actually worried about choosing this item as I thought the size is too small / thin since it looks like it is. But then,when the parcel arrived I was surprised that it's not. The necklace fits me well - I mean my neck of course. I would suggest wearing this to dinner occasions since it adds up an elegant look to your outfit. I'm sure.
Since it's a review,so I should be honest with you peeps about this items and the store in whole. Here's what I think..
I love that the items they have are really really cheap. Somehow beautiful and fashionable too! There are so many choices. That's a win. But,what I don't quite like is the delivery service. That depends on your location tho,since I'm from Malaysia it took 4 - 5 weeks to arrive. And that's really really slow. So I suggest an early order if you're thinking about purchasing the items from them. Apart from that,I like it that their customer service are excellent. So,any enquiries will be responded in 24 hours. *winks*

And here's some photos of me goofing around with my newwwww Stylish Cross Hollow Out Stripe Ring Posh Open Ring and my newwwww Glam Necklace Simple Gold Thick Chain Design . Enjoy! :)

Good news to all my readers! You can get discounts upon purchasing jewelry and accesorries from the Born Pretty Store. :D How? Easy - peasy! Just key in the coupon code  ( DMET10 ) when purchasing the items and get 10% off the price. It's already cheap and it's cheaper after,win - win y'all. 

So whaddayu waiting for? Click Born Pretty Store  and start shopping your new jewelry essentials!


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Dreams & Passion

It's sounds like there's a war going on outside cos it's Chinese New Year,yk firecrackers and fireworks,those merry colourful stuffs. Therefore,before pouring out my heart and thoughts I'd like to wish y'all a Happy Chinese New Year! :D

Alright so here we go. Just few moments ago,as I was scrolling through my Facebook feeds *yes I still do use Facebook* I found a status that belongs to my junior questioning about his ambition and what does it takes to achieve those dreams. And so,me being the typical me writes off a very very long comment hoping that he will understand what I meant by those words.

Which brings me to this sharing/topic. Dreams,and passion. 
What does dreams and passion means to you? When it comes to dreams and passion most people will automatically imagine something artsy,something rebelling. But I tell you it's not just that,it's more than that.

Other than dreaming to be a journalist and a photographer,I've been dreaming to travel the world as well as contributing to the unfortunate by joining charity events. I also dreamt that someday I'll be a successful geologist! I know,it's a very weird combination but that is what dreams are all about. It's not about what is right and what is wrong,actually there's no right and wrong in this matter. It's what you wanted to do and achieve in your life. It's what your heart wants,I could say.

Now, many of the young generations nowadays,including you and I,are having difficulties in deciding our future. I am pretty sure that as I do,all teens do think about this and gave this some thoughts - in fact almost the whole time.. Most asked questions will be :

#1 What I want?
#2 Is it gonna provide me cash?
#3 Is it worth it?
#4 What will people say about it?

and the most feared question / statement of all..


Been there. Been stuck in that situation countless times,been questioning myself countless times,and guess what. You won't know unless you decide to give it a try,take the risk and make it worth the sacrifice. Words,it all sounds cliche,about taking the risk and making it worth it. But yk,there's so much trueness in that sentence ,you can't deny it. Fear of failure will keep you away from that goal rather than it keeps you close and disciplined. It's a proven fact that we tend to focus more on negative things than the positives. We're humans after all. Vulnerable in our own way,we doubt more than we believe just as we hate ourselves more than we love.

It's true,isn't it? How fragile are our thoughts and dreams. That often the thought of failure strikes and lesser faith it builds. It's okay. I too,doubt myself and my ability in reaching and achieving my dreams. It's okay to think that you might not make it,BUT DO NOT LET THAT STOP YOU!

Not only thoughts but facts as well. Fuck the fact that you're not rich. Then work for the money you need. Fuck the fact that people said you can't write and your writing sucks. Then improve more,practice more,read more. Fuck the fact that haters keeps on bashing you and criticize your fashion style. Then do better,annoy them with your fabulous fashion sense and success. Fuck the fact that people say your voice sucks. Then take vocal classes and learn tips from others. Fuck the fact that people around you said you're an attention seeker who's only famous online for Vine-ng or YouTube-ing but a looser in real life. Then shove a middle finger to their face cos at least you're doing what you love while they're just hating for no absolute benefits at all.
Seriously. Be confidence and be proud of what you're doing cos you're finally doing something you love! You're finally fighting for something you always wanted. And that means so much more than those haters who bashes and throw hates as if it's gonna bring them gold or happiness. 
Still not convinced enough that your dreams and passion is worth the risk and possibilities? Then take the advice from Lupita Nyong'o.

Lupita Nyong'o  won the best supporting actress Oscar at the 86th Academy Awards for her role in 12 Years a Slave. She went through hardships just to get to where she is now and if you doubt this is even true or nah,well. Feel free to Google it. :)

See what taking-the-risk can do to your future? Your passion? Your dreams? 

There's so much more to experience,not just about reaching or getting what you want. It's also the lessons that you've learnt throughout the hardships that matters. How about to whom who have taken that huge step and decided to pursue their dreams? Days,months and years but you feel like you're nowhere there yet? Tired of rejection after rejection,resulting to major failure and depression? DON'T GIVE UP.

Learn a valuable lesson from the picture above. There's no right time,and will ever be the time to give up on your dreams! Keep on digging through that thick challenge,keep on moving forward to that destination,keep on going!

Let me share one of my personal experience as a beginner in blogging. I've started blogging on December 23rd 2014 and it's has almost been 2 months that I've blog until today. 3 days ago,I feel very discouraged as I've been receiving countless hates on telling me how much my blog sucks,saying that I'm an attention seeker,nothing more than a bitch who only wants fame and I should STOP blogging.


That's the exact word that comes to my mind after receiving a lot of hates for doing something that I love. All I know was,I started blogging because I love writing as well as photography and I'm keen to share my interest using Blogspot as a platform. See what society can do to you? They can criticize your passion. Not saying that they shouldn't,oh my. They have every rights to post any comments or feedback for my actions,I actually appreciate that people even care to make some time to think about me. It's a privilege to have such attention yk. 

But I can't handle hates well. I'm not someone who can simply ignore such negativity. Especially when deep inside,I doubt my ability,my skill as well as my decision. I doubt myself. Quickly,mindset becomes shallow,passion becomes weak and all I ever wanted was to shut those words outta my mind. Hates after hates,decision were made. 

I decided to stop blogging for once and for all.

After all,not much people love what I write. Not all of my friends supports what I do. I'm not even good at writing. I suck at this. So I'm like,okay then. Tomorrow *which is yesterday* will be the day that I'll end and delete this blog.

However, that morning, that morning that I was supposed to delete this blog,an email came. And guess what. Wow. Just wow. I got offered by a fashion brand to collaborate. Imagine that. Never in the wildest dream,I'd ever thought that any company or brand will be interested collaborating with me. That feeling,just wow. So overwhelmed and yes you can imagine me doing those stupid dance moves. It's just...Aaaaahhhhhhhhh! Excited! 

Okay,back to Dreams and Passion. Related to my personal experience above,you can see that passion is worth pursuing for,and dreams are worth the risk. I've just taken the first step to chase what I wanted to be,a journalist. Tho I'm nowhere there,I'll let time decide,while I'm just gonna enjoy the journey and keep doing what I love most! Ignore the fact that pursuing will be a hell of a ride but instead take it as a hell of a fun ride.

[ I guess I'm gonna end this post for now,cos I need to sleep and it's 3 in the morning. My sleeping pattern really suck. Big time. Gotta settle that later on. ]

So,how about you? Dreams and Passion? Yes? Remember,don't ever let fear decide your future. Fear is a barrier between you and your dreams. Make a leap of faith, and stay firm through the hardships. You'll be surprised where you'll ended up standing. Be positive,keep going.

p/s : please forgive my grammatical sins.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Single Stuffs


It'll be February 14th in just a few hours and aha,I know you've been thinking bout the same thing too. Valentine's Day with the big - gigantic V word. And you'd probably think of ways to spend your Valentine *cough* - this is for the singles out there 

I know,I know. I've been thinking the same thing too. Like " I don't need to celebrate Valentine's Day lah,I'm single anyway." WRONG. Don't make yourself feel so pathetic lah,you're single and free anyway. Enjoy life lor! *I'm all hyped for this,sorry*

Anyways,I've compiled and gather some interesting stuffs to do on Valentine's Day, for you singles out there *including me* :


Bungee jumping anyone? I mean,why not? Scream all those feelings out from yo lungs!


Gather with a bunch of friends,hop into a car and drive out from the town. Perhaps somewhere to the countryside? You'll be surprised with experiences and moments you've gain through that road-trip. :)


Don't give me that look. Hiking can be fun yk! Not only you get to exercise but also,clear your mind. Get a day off from that busy bustling city and spend more time in the green zone. Who knows you'll meet *ehem* the one while hiking! [ sorry,hopelessly romanticizing ]


You probably love this the best,don't you? Hahahaha I admit,this actually stands as the top of things to do during Valentine's Day. Duh,it's Valentine's Day,and yes of course. Fashion brands are on the go with SALES and DISCOUNTS. Why not right? Pamper yourself after the hard work,or after keeping that cash for soooo long,it is now time to use it "wisely" Plus,it's a seasonal festive,chances don't come often,who knows how lucky you'd get buying these branded stuffs lesser than 1/2 price!


What could be better than spending time at a nice,warm and comfy coffee shop while reading a book? Forget about Valentine being with partners,love yourself and take time to relax your mind while sipping these coffees with heart - warming aroma *I can already feel the aura of calmness*

And that's a wrap for today's post! As for tomorrow,I'd like to sincerely wish all readers a Happy Valentine's Day,may your day be filled with joy and awesomeness!
Thank you for reading.

Saturday, January 31, 2015


Since I've got nothing much to blog,so a random thoughts it is!

If you're an avid user of Instagram or whatever social apps. You'll probably stumble upon many pictures,pretty ones,normal ones,bad ones.. Nudes? Any type of pictures right? Even the gag ones!
So you and I can conclude that pictures do play an important role in our life,not just to keep memories but also to inform others what we're up to and well,of course advertising.

I've been scrolling Instagram feed for almost 20 mins and guess what? Almost all users applied filters to their photos. Now,don't get me wrong. I'm not going to talk shit about filters *cos apparently,I used them in some of my photos too* Just gonna share my thoughts on filters. Okay? Okay.

[ Filtered with HB 1 by Vsco ]

Filters are invented or created to enhance the beauty of a photo. Well,it works some sort like a make up. Most of the comments I saw in some pictures I've seen on Instagram be like..

 "Too much filter " "You're so fake,you obviously applied filter" " This is not photography,it's filtered"

Whatt??? Why have to be so mean to them? I mean duh-ya. They applied filters on their photo,but that does not give you the right to bash 'em. 

So sad that how shallow-minded can humans be. I actually don't see the issue of using filter you know. It's just there to enhance the beauty of the photo. Yeah sure,the saying says that " pictures can be deceiving " Well actually,it's up to one's own opinion to feel deceived or wtv. I mean,it's gonna be so obvious that a girl applied 10x filter ( but too much filter is NOT okay ). You on the other hand shouldn't be too blind to jump into conclusions like "she's a natural beauty,Imma get her to be my girlfriend" Eh like what la that kind of mindset. It's common sense for our generations okay. *just saying* 

Honestly,I don't care much if a person applied filter on their photos, (not too much like photoshop one la)  not just because I also do,but because there's nothing wrong in that if it makes them feel beautiful or good looking. The thing about online world,the internet world is that you gotta remember,to never ever simply trust 100% what you see and read. Really tho,talkin' some real shit here my friend.

Gosh,reading back I sounded mad about the issue of using filters. Don't get me wrong,I'm not.
It's just that so many people have been bashed just because they used filters and that's not okay. If it's a bad thing then people won't create filters aite.

Guess that's all for now,so filters? Yay or nay - shouldn't be an issue. 

Saturday, January 3, 2015


Now Playing : Wake Me Up When September Ends // Green Day

Hey there!

Before writing stuffs on things I'm going to share,I'd like to wish yguys  a Blessed New Year! :D
It's already the year of 2015,so I'm sure you are sooo determined to own this year - even if you don't,you will after this :P

My 18 years of living gave me so much experience dealing with expectations, people, emotions and stuffs like that. So here's some stuffs you might wanna look on to start off a new year with a real new badass attitude - the good way ofcourse! Shall we? We shall..

As you can see the title of today's blog post is Definition. Generally,we all know that the society nowadays tend to define others rather than the individual herself/himself defines herself/himself. But you,my friend,can change that. How?

Define Yourself

Be the one who defines you. Life is so fair that no matter how nice you are,haters always exist. They will label you with negative words like bitch,sluts,ugly and all those mean things that will always make you doubt yourself,thus resulting to infinity insecurities. Trust me,I know how it feels,been there. I'm not gonna advice you to be mean to them or throw 'em eggs,no worries. But all I gotta say if that ever gonna happen to you is to be nice to them. It's some sort of a psychology war strategy that does not include you to potray the same-stupid attitude as them yknow. Be nice to them,show them kindness and show them love. Show them the positive side of you. It'll make them feel so guilty that they'll suicide - jk they won't. But it'll make them feel guilty for being mean and rude to you and the best thing is. They might end up being your friend. And you know what they said about enemies being friends after a fight,those people are usually the ones who will ride with you through  the troubles and happiness. :)


Having faith in who you are is important as well. Having faith in yourself is like having the power to change the world. Faith,can move a mountain. It's a metaphor that I'm not sure it exist or nah but yeap it's very logical and it surely does make sense. Having faith in yourself boost confidence in stuffs you wanna do,and it gives you the authority to really set what kind of person you are. For example,I've never thought that I'll be blogging my thoughts on the internet because I was too afraid of criticism I'll receive. But faith gave me strength and made me firm in what I wanted to do,which results to you reading my writing now. See how faith can change the whole thing? In this case,having faith in yourself makes you a true-er you. A true-er you that you are happily living as. Often we hear or read that ; one's must be true to oneself. Isn't that one of the most realistic things that have ever been said? It's true,satisfy your own needs and do not think too much of judgements you'll receive because in the end,it's you yourself that matters.

I have no exact words to make you feel better if you're not right now. But here's some things I know.

You're a person that means you're worthy to receive kindness and you have the rights to love yourself. You are an amazing person but not everyone can see that. However what matter most is what you think about yourself. I believe that no words can bring a person down,unless you let 'em. And that's the secret to survive in this world full of judgements and expectations. You,be the boss of your own thinking,and you define your identity. And if others can't see how amazing you are,well. Screw them,sure their opinions bother,but so what? Shake it off,embrace your flaws and live to the fullest *so cliche btw* You are much more than just words that are said without intelligence,you are more than just a fucked up mess,you are a person who chooses to be yourself and not fake and that is so much more than just a stand,that's bold. And I tell you,I'm so fucking proud of you for being yourself and for living your own definition. Wear those scars you have,with pride cos you're strong as fuck,and you deserve a happy life. Where ever you are,keep in mind,I love you and so does someone else.

p/s : I'm sorry if these words isn't much compared to others,but I hope you do appreciate your own existence.

Thanks for reading!  

Saturday, December 27, 2014


Hi fellas.

It's not midnight and yet i'm blogging which is weird. Cos deep thoughts often kicks in during midnight when it's dark and cold,and well hazy? Idk. So,recently I've been thinking about 2014 because in few days,we'll be living in the year of 2015. Wow ,amazing you and I survived through 2014. If it's a rough year for you then congratulations for being a strong human and for moving on through those shits.

Before I get started,I'd like to advise you - dear readers to ignore my grammatical sins because that would be very disturbing to your mind and soul. Okay? Okay. So,here we go~

2014 has been a rough year for me. Wouldn't lie and I'm not even kidding. Early of the year was okay except for the part that I've been having family issues. Which is actually normal for a teen tho. But it has reached the part where I no longer feel like I belong in this family,and that bond is really out of reach. I'm not saying that I blame them for making me feel so,but you know that situation where you just can't fit in anymore? Chemistry that you had with your own flesh and blood faded  more likely seems like it never exist.

Not to mention the impact upon me after receiving my SPM results. Oh my. I can't put into words of how devastated I felt. After struggling,studying and all,that is all I get. The sacrifices I've made,never skipped class,never skipped extra classes,restraining myself from playing sports,staying up till AM to study. Everything,results to nothing but failure. I literally feel like a major failure. I failed my family,expectations,I failed myself and even worse,I failed my parents . Just the exact moment when I start to lose faith. I lost my faith in the existence of God. I question myself everyday about my wrecked life and what I've done to receive this storm.

Things started to get worse. I started cutting back. Razor become my weapon to heal. Blood flowing out from my skin and suicide thoughts crawls into my mind,my head. I am lost,in my own thoughts to the part where I don't even give a fuck to the thoughts of hell. Suicide. Blood. Ends the pain,at least for that moment. Yeah,deep shit.

Few months later,June,I pursued my study in Form 6 also known as HSC ( Higher School Certificate ). Things didn't get along well. I suck in my major subject,Economy. And I'm sure you can relate to friends issues which I'm not so keen to share right now. I guess it's enough to just say that I'm not in the favor of accepting new people in my life tho that's life,that's how it's supposed to be. I have 2 more semester to go in 2015,let's hope for the best shall we?

So those are some of the highlights of my 2014. Bumpy road,mountains,storms but there's always silver lining. Am I right people?

2014 taught me that no matter how hard or how difficult the challenge is,and how hard you fell,life has to go on. There are much more to see and experience in life than cutting,crying in the shower,sleepless night and self-destruction. I've learnt that sometimes goals doesn't matter but what matters is the experience and how far I've grown in order to achieve my goals. What can I say? Life is full of surprises tho a mystery yet still something to look forward to. Experiences in 2014 also taught me that not everyone likes you,and the moment you trust them,beware of the knives they're holding cos anytime can be the time you got stab. Reality my dear friends. Just stating reality. However I'm so thankful for the  existence of my true friends,who have been my pillars,my counselors,my heart ,my happy pills that even distance can't separate and break our bond. I love these people,they're blessing in disguise. :')

So much to say but I just can't find the right words to construct it beautifully. 2014 is soon to be was truly a bitter sweet year,and from that I gained strength to do better in 2015. How was your 2014? Feel free to comment! :D



Decisions at 9:24 PM

Hello 2k16!  I'm finally done with STPM (HSC). Wow,time flies real fast huh? Nah,not really tho. Twas quite slow but I'm just so ...